SHADOW

  

I live my life in my own shadow. 

so afraid of coming out, 

yet I long for people to see my face

unveiled, and  for who I really am.

 Yet I dread for anyone

to gaze upon the face of an

unmasked mess.

The world will recognize broken insanity

for who she really is.

REDUNDANT WANDERING

I'm here for you.

Yes i'm here for you.

But i don't feel here
at all.

I feel over there,
away.
far from you,
unapart of your life,
where i want to be,
where it seems
you wanted me too.

Why don't you invite me in,

where it's warm,
where you are.
I'm here for you,
yes i'm here for you.

I'm here for me too.

I'm tired of worrying about simply me.

Oh, that gets old.
so old.

Why don't you
invite me in,
with you,
where it's warm?

Why do you just
let me sit here
missing you?
Why don't you try?

Try for my hand.

Try for me.

Try to show me
what it's like to be you. 

I'm here for you.

Yes I'm here for you,
but I feel over there,
away
far from where you are.

IN CIRCLES

i

am up late and thinking about you again.
i
am wasting my time.
i
am wishing i could figure this all out.
i
am wasting my time.

Cause I'm thinking and dreaming in circles,
not reaching anything but a spiral.
A spiral is only confusion.
And you,
you are in the center of it all.

i
am up late and thinking about you again.

i
am wasting my time.
i
feel stupid cause you're sleeping.
i
bet you don't waste your time thinking of me.

So whyyyy
am i up late thinking about you again?

In circles,
feeling utterly alone.
i
am going to bed,
goodnight.

A ROCK HITS THE WINDSHIELD

One and only one

tear

will I release.

No sign of weakness

will I reveal.

Quick to fix

the slight crack in my mask,

before it can spread

to shatter the rest of my composure.

No time for that today.

COUNTING BACKWARDS

The count down

Heed this warning

to evacuate the premises.

Too much built up,

carried it all on my shoulders

bruising my heart.

Soon to detonate,

I am a walking ticking bomb.

Except I won't explode,

I'll just crumble.

TO A PLACE

I close my eyes

and float off to the place

where nothing bad ever happened,

the innocence of my childhood

never stolen,

my dreams

never trampled.

I close my eyes

and float off to the place

where flower petals

never fall off,

and the
snow man never melts.
I close my eyes
and float off to the place
I never wish to leave,
because it's so easy to breathe,
and being alive
feels like flying in the clearest skies
and so I don't think I'll ever open my eyes.



I DON'T BELONG HERE

I don't belong here,

not anymore.

I don't belong here,

that's for sure.

I really miss,

the way things

used to be,

but the person I am

is so different from the old me.

I don't belong here,

that's for sure.

Should I say goodbye

or come back for more.

I don't belong here,

back in the old dayss.

I know I can't go back

to my old ways.

But if home

is no longer where I belong,

why does being anywhere else

feel so wrong.

I belong nowhere,

that's how I feel.

This family I'm thinking of

just isn't real.

And i'll mourn over

what I've lost,

but I'll celebrate

that it's also what I had.

STILL

I will never forget

because noone and nothing

can erase

what we have been.

one thing

will always remain true.

we lived and loved

one another so strong

we lived to see

what he had

go so wrong.

but we've continued to live

and even in the shadows

loved has also remained.