1AM FRIDAY MORNING

paralyzed by a lack of passion causing a bed sore in my heart.

RUN!

He stands there

in patience and love

He's waiting there for you.

He's calling out

your name.

He's loved you

before you ever were.

So run, run to Him.

He's reaching out for you.

He hung there for you.

You're sad child

and lonely.

But you don't have to be,

He's with you can't you see?

"Come here child.

You rest now.

Give your heart to me.

From these burdens

I'll make you free!"

So RUN, RUN TO HIM!

He's reaching out for you.

He hung there for you!

Scared and insecure

He reaches for you.

Made a mistake again

He hung for you.

Hiding behind the mask

 But He says you're beautiful.

Dark desires to cut your own skin

But He already bled for you!

So RUN, RUN TO HIM!

He's reaching out for you,

He hung there for you.

RUN, RUN TO HIM!

He's reaching out for you,

He hung there for you.

Hear Him.

DEAR JOHN LETTER

One day,
you'll look at me
with sudden realization in your eyes.
You'll realize
that I've been right here all along.
But until then,
I'll keep calm, cool and collected.
I'll keep focused on HIM
as I wait for you.

YOUR EYES

I want eyes that look at me and know 

things I don't have to show 

on the outside where you are looking in, 

which is exactly where I feel you 

when I feel my heart begin its beat.

HELD

It's late at night

and I wish I had someone to text,

Specifically,

I wish I still had you.

I wish I had you

to hold

with my thoughts

and love with my words.

But you're my past

and I refuse to waste time

missing you.

Instead,

I will text Jesus

and wish He could physically 

TOUCH me,

because it's late at night,

and I desperately need to be held.

VAST CORRIDORS

My thoughts are everywhere.
They just are,
and I just am.
I don't know where they start
and I don't know where they end.

I never want to cease,
I want to be for eternity,
never just a memory.

As for my thoughts,
they are so complex,
filling my brain
and my heart
and forcing every thing out.
Thus comes my poetry
and tears pour forth as well.
I want to fill myself, with what?
With you.
With anything,
but emptiness. 
I want more to replace the sanity 
I feel I'm losing 
in times like these 
when my words make little sense. 
I want your light, 
your life, 
your love. 
I want your balance 
and I want to be centered. 
I want your thoughts, 
I want to hear them, 
not mine. 
Mine are so unstable, 
and yours calm my mental storm. 
They rush past me, 
and sometimes all I realize is their wind. 

Like, when did this become a letter to You? 
But who else would I write this to? 

So back to my mind...
which is a bunch of corridors, 
too many corridors, 
filled with doors, 
of rooms,
filled with thoughts. 
SILENCE. Please.

PRESSURE

This pressure, 

it creeps into my reality. 

I awaken to it's presence 

here building, filling my head 

with heaviness. 

My reflection 

across the room says to me, 

this is what misery looks like. 

The silent screaming 

inside me cries out, 

this is what pain sounds like! 

The ringing in my ears, 

my blood rushing through my veins... 

my heart...speeding along this winding road 

that leads to nowhere, 

are all the sounds of agony. 

I've bitten my lip in tension...

my first taste of blood for the night, 

the taste of affliction. 

My hands are tangled in my hair, 

trapped, at war with myself

to be free, from this torture. 

I feel the sting of hot tears 

scorching scars down my face. 

They disappear in steam. 

The smell of sticky sweat 

from my suffering 

whispers to me, 

this is the stench of who you have been 

and always will be. 

But in the back of my mind, 

rising from the center of my heart 

are the words once spoken to me. 

"You need not fight in this battle; 

station yourself, 

stand and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, 

O Judah and Jerusalem. 

Do not fear or be dismayed; 

tomorrow go out to face them, 

for the LORD is with you." 

The glass has shattered. 

The mirror maze gone. 

He's standing there before me 

arm's outstretched 

just waiting to embrace me. 

In His touch, 

I taste fresh water, 

I hear the love letters 

He's written for me, 

I can feel hope 

even far across the sea. 

In His love, 

I see colors of Joy 

and I smell nature around me...

pushing back the pressure, 

healing the pain, 

and inviting me to dance 

in the rain to the symphony 

He's written for me. 

♥ 

//This was initially inspired by a sinus migraine. See how Jesus makes beauty from pain? //the song in my head "Mi Mancherai" w/o words by Josh Groban.

365 Poem Challenge

[Untitled]

Is it that I'm guarding my heart TOO well? 

Or are you just not the one? 

Am i wasting an opportunity? 

Or am i waiting for God's best for me? 

Am I sabotaging any hope of falling in love? 

Or am I first falling in love with Jesus? 

Is it a problem that I'm "just not interested"? 

Maybe for him and them, 

but its a good thing that I'm not distracted, 

from the GREATEST LOVE I desire, 

the GREATEST ONE I need, 

the GREATEST NAME to be on my mind, 

the GREATEST ARMS to run to, 

the GREATEST ROMANCE that surpasses Cinderella, 

the dream fella, YES HE EXISTS. 

Our story is a romantic dramedy 

that film couldn't capture, 

has a soundtrack He already wrote, 

words can't always express it, 

but He outdid Dear John 

and wrote 66 love letters to me...

on top of my own poetical diary. 

Yes my heart is guarded, 

for Jesus holds it in His hands.