NIGHTSONG

The midnight sky
connects me to where you are.
It's beauty transcends upon all creation.
Where pearl and sapphire combine
to create a mystery beyond all comprehension.
The owls and crickets sing their song,
a waltzing lullaby.
Nothing can compare to the nightsong.

IN HER MEMORY

In my Grandmother's kitchen,
I discovered the incredible Reynold's Wrap
and seasonings.
I discovered the joy of baking
and the delicious creations
of her hands.
In my Grandmother's kitchen,
I poured out my heart
and she poured out
her love and wisdom.
There I learned lessons
about life, love, and character.
In my Grandmother's kitchen,
I was safe, happy and warm.
Her kitchen now lies only within
my memory, in her memory.

MY ESCORT (FEET)

My feet glide across the floor
I have no idea what I'm doing
all i know is that
they lead me.
Lifting my spirit above this
hole I've been stuck in,
my feet move in a manner
I have never known.
Gently carrying my thoughts
to a place unreachable
my dispair is allieviated
for now
as my feet create a beauty
I have just begun to experience.
Where am i now?
Within the music
in a place my feet
have graciously escorted me to.

ACCEPTANCE

If God looks at the heart,

will that restore

my acceptable condition?

Is my heart enough

to convince Him

that I'm not meant

for hell?

If everything depended

on my heart,

this life would be

so beautiful.

This world would be

so livable.

God would be so tangible

again.

BREATHE

I opened my wallet
and found a letter I wrote
to myself.
It fullfills its purpose
everytime
I stumble upon it.
It makes me
smile.
I Stop, step back and breathe.

LOVE ME NOT

Walking through the park
a flower in my hand,
"He loves me,
he loves me not,
he loves me,
he loves me not,
he loves me,
he loves me...
NOT.
Thank goodness,
because I will only break his heart.
I am not the girl he thinks I am."

Sitting in church
flipping through these golden edged pages,
"He loves me,
He loves me not,
He loves me,
He loves me not,
He loves me
He loves me...
NOT.
Please God,
I need you to love me.
Though I'm not the girl you want me to be."

NO MORE GOODBYES

I wrote a letter,
intending for it to be my LAST.
Tucking it away
to never be seen
planning that it never be read.
I hate goodbye's.
So even as I write
for the final time,
as long as no one reads it,
I promise
I will never say it again.

THE PAINFUL TRUTH

we talk.

but i lie.

i feed you

lol's and hahaha's.

but they are only make believe.

i wonder if

you see past the

lmfao's

and recognize

the fact that

I'm dying inside.

you sit next to me

we talk and laugh

and I secretly hope

that you don't confuse

my amusement

with happiness.

i wonder if you notice

the truth smoldering

in my eyes.

THE GALLERY

in experiencing you
i had a glimpse of my reflection
in a milllion different faces.

BREAK THE ICE

Something broke the ice.
Now I've plunged deep into
the dark icy waters of a sea
yet to be explored.
For only so long can I hold my breath.
No lifeguards around to jump in after me.
No one aware of the breach
in the delicate support beneath us.
Time will run out.
I will not have achieved anything
besides betrayal
simultaneously becoming its victim.

THE TRAGEDY OF RELIEF

i hold relief in my hand
such sweet satisfaction
in the hope of deliverance
from the world
here on my shoulders.
if only for but a while.

nothing matters
but the beat of my heart
which occurs now
without burden
for in this moment
i am free.

let go
i have been released
snipped away
like a loosened string
from around satan's finger
and now i exist without torment.

running away
i have succeeded in escape.
but in doing so,
i have robbed myself
of the gift of you.
oh tragedy, catch 22.

TEMPORARY ESCAPE

When your sanity

lies within the power

of a drug

you begin to live

at its mercy.

What will become of you

when you run out?

Which you will...

Your life will then

transform from the

pursuit of happiness

to the pursuit of a

temporary escape.

BY DEFINITION

So many thoughts. So many dreams hopes wishes and desires. I just want to live to see and do it all. Thus, the epitome of "Asha."

REFLECTIVE TONIGHT

follow your heart. live for your passion. never let go of hope. don't forget to dream and remember that everything
is possible so nothing is impossible. so brace yourself for anything at any time. tears are a sign of strength, so don't be afraid to let them go. trust your instincts no time for second guesses. though you're young, time is of the essence. be who you are all the time. anything less than that is a rip off for everyone else. expect no mercy from the world because it never revolves around you. everything you say and do is an act or leap of faith. so what is it you have faith in? be the anti hate and the pro love in everything you say and do. remember that only you can change your world. and just because you can see it, doesn't mean it's not there so watch what you dismiss. and even when everything is falling apart, remember that you're still in one piece. that in itself is a blessing these days.

i understand that fear of "being too much". and the bliss of hope and deliverance yet fear of losing it all to a "joke" or a "tease"...life having a sense of humor with you. but no...you live with and for who you have. don't spend so much time on being afraid of losing things or people...because that's energy wasted on experiencing having them in the now. energy wasted on anxieties is energy stolen from experiencing realities. be you. that's never too much and always exactly what is necessary.

SIT AND WISH

Sometimes I sit and wish
that I could do something remarkable
be something or someone incredible.
In your eyes
In my eyes.
I sit and wish
that I was different somehow
from all the rest
instead of just a face in the crowd.
But I am not.
I am just like you,
just like them.
We don't need another boring
character in this mundane story line.
Sometimes I sit and wish
that I had something others did not
so that there would be something
anything
I could grace upon others
and it would be special.
I simply sit and wish
that I was valuable
special and irreplaceable.
But I am not.
So I continue to wish upon the stars.