WARNING

Someone shoulda told me

Someone shoulda warned me

Someone shoulda saved me

Before I fell.

How was I supposed to know

From that look in his eye

That it would all go

Crashing to the floor?

The mark of death

Disguised by bliss

Sealed with a kiss

How did I miss

It?

Someone shoulda told me

Someone shoulda warned me

Someone shoulda saved me

From this mess I sit within.

My life like broken china

Upon the kitchen floor

My love like

A shattered mirror

A sight to abhor.

The music stops

And the silence is deafening.

Why didn’t you tell me?

Why didn’t you warn me?

Why didn’t you save me?

How could betray me?

You, self.

ALWAYS A CHOICE?

Like a cup overflowing

my thoughts cascade 

down the walls of my mind.

Like an explosion of dissonance,

they create pandemonium 

in every bit of me.

I sit here in this loud silence,

still as water,

but in reality 

swimming for my life. 

Is everything a choice? 

Can I just choose to survive? 

As the imperfect being I am,

can I always choose what is right,

as I have a 1000 different voices 

leading me down many paths. 

Can i silence and still the thoughts

in the coffin of my mind,

and decide to choose my own path 

unyielding to any other objection…?

OBLIVION

I have fallen

into oblivion.

No one's around.

Will I ever be found?

I am falling.

Is there anyone to catch me?

It's going to hurt

when I collide with the ground.

Is there even a ground

in oblivion?

It's so endless,

there's no sound.

Can anyone hear me?

I am screaming.

My voice is lost

in the dark.

I'm falling and failing

through oblivion,

kicking and screaming

through oblivion.

DIRT

I'm as close to the ground

as one can get

amongst the bugs

and old leaves.

Wind blows

through the grass

to tickle my face

but sadly

it brings no relief

to the real heat

within.
I could just
lie here forever
forsaking all else,
even myself.

SHADOWLAND

 

I've roamed around

these darkened streets

for many melancholy hours.

Lost

in a place I feel light

as forsaken.

There are only shadows here,

reminding me

of what color and life

used to be.

There is only the eerie sound

of wind rustling through

the enormous trees above me.

Making me feel

small and vulnerable.

I feel as though

I've melted into this darkness

around me

becoming a shadow as well-

of the girl I truly am.

Leaning into its cold arms

just waiting to embrace me.

BITTERSWEETNESS

 

Walking past the silent sleepers

the beauty is saddening

all filed away

forgotten.

Sun light washes upon the grass

bringing color and life

to such a gray

place.

So peaceful, so calm, so sweet

in the most melancholy way.

I stop to take in

the staggering sight

 of these lives once lived.

I want to read them a story

but they won't hear

for they inhabit a limitless place

contrary to my bound existence.

The wind blows

but they falter not.

They haven't the ability.

Thank you silent sleepers

for you have given me

an appreciation for

the wind that angers me

as it blows me about.

But at least I have the opportunity

to fly

should the wind

decide to carry me

instead of

surge against me

Walking past the silent sleepers

I taste that bittersweet melancholy beauty

that fills me with gratitude for life.

A WALK BESIDE THE GRAVEYARD

 

As i walk alone

at my own pace

the cars blur past me

and I'm left

in the the stillness

of the music in my ears

calming this place

where I am.

My own little world.

The music transcending

the constant noise in my mind.

For a moment I can feel

a foreign smile within.

 

GONE? or LOST?

I am but a shadow 

of the girl I really am inside. 

I feel gone, 

but I hope I’m only lost.

That means I can be found. 

But If I were gone, 

I would just be gone. 

God, please find me.

A DIFFERENT ME

It is always there

Always behind me

Or always sitting

heavily upon my heart.

It is the chill in the night,

The tears on my face,

The sadness in my eyes.

It is like the man

in the long dark coat

Who follows my 50 feet behind.

Silently watching and

knowing your my move.

It waits around the corner

To creep up and kidnap me.

It disguises me

as some other twisted

Form of myself.

I am always wearing it

Like a heavy cloak,

dark as raven’s feather’s

demeaning as a scarlet letter.

It covers me 

entirely clothing me

In its entombing embrace,

Making me

A different me.