PONDERING

When forced to face something

one has an instinctual aversion to,

it's difficult to overcome the effects of the pressure of this poison

being served on a platter

to which one i expected to respone to gracefully.

I attempting to

climb the maintain of maturity

and reason against my own behavior.

But to fight against something

so basic as instinct

overwhelms me to the point

of emotional breakdown.

I am like a customer at a restaurant

who eats something I know

I don't like.

I can't force myself to 

like this food.

I can't stop myself from

physically ridding myself

of that which i have an instinctual aversion to.

is my demise my fault.