I HATE TO REMEMBER

It’s horrible of me, 

I know.

To hate your happiness

And wish my misery would 

share itself with you.

It’s horrible of me, I know.

To resent you so much

And hold this bitterness 

and contempt towards you.

I want to say I can’t help it,

But I don’t want to display 

helplessness

Nor do I want you to know that

You have such power over me.

How horrible I feel now that 

I remember.

When I couldn’t remember

Why you made me so happy

And why

I was so hurt

It was easier than now.

Now that I remember.

I remember the blissful moments

That now haunt me.

I remember how special you were

And now you haunt me.

It hurts so bad to remember…