HERE AGAIN

Congratulations.
I am
a jolly good failure.
For here I am scared
having pushed you away
yet again,
failing to be a source
of joy, peace and comfort
for you.
There's nothing
and no one
else to blame
but myself,
which is the saddest
of all parts
of this story.
Your happiness
is essential to my own
happiness.
But I have the ability
to deliver that to
all of none.
I fear you have shut me away
so I retreat and hide.
Though I will fight for you,
I rather not agitate an
all but tranquil
lion's den
and only add
to the damage
I've already caused.