LOST MEMOS

when the ppl sit, i stand.
they stand, i dance around.
when they walk away, i stand alone,
but the courage to continue stands with me.
when it hits me, i break.
my world stops turning but lives go on.
they leave me here in last year when i couldn't walk any further.
so now everyones happily ever after in 2013
while i cry in the empty past that is my present
and present that is my future thats going no where.
and ppl want to ask me
what i'm doing, where i'm going, how i've been today,
but i'm no where near to answer.
where am i?
lost to world within myself,
where no one can find me.
random explorers filled with curiosity
try to find their way through the madness of the jungle i hide within,
but they turn back giving up on the impossible.
and when it rains here, it pours.
and when i fly,
its only momentarily and all along,
i only think i'm flying
but its only when i'm asleep
because i wake up to realize
that i've mistaken my flying, for falling.
is falling worth it, when its falling in love?
yes of course.
love is never in vain.
as i fall, i fall faster than the other fallers nearest me.
again i'm left falling alone.
where has everyone gone to?
no. where have i gone away?
ive found some place just as miserable as my mind.
dare i dance? no.
dare i stand? no.
dare i sit? no i can't.
i can only lay here imobilized
by all that has worn holes in my shoes.
i want to be like popcorn.
even though im put through the fire and i will explode...
the explosion is worth it.
because i become something of value.
but for now,
i'm just a pop corn kernel.
something with potential.
hmm not even that.
i am just me.
standing while everyone sits.
i'm suppossed to be sitting too apparently.
but i didnt get the memo.