prodigal daughter

I have been here many times before. Indeed it's as if I've never left this inbetween of mine. I am like the lamb that has left the flock. Unprotected, I'm left vulnerable to the attacks of my predators. I've ignored the calls of the shepherd in pursuit of my self and my harmonizing melody. Obsessively I ask myself, "are fleeting moments of happiness worth the risk of losing eternal joy?" Somehow, I don't know the answer. Chasing after something so unknown all the while believing in something so unseen yet needing them both. Everyone always demands something of me including myself so this ripped heart of mine bestows upon me ever present pain. What is it that I want to gain? Who is it that I want to be? Where is it that I want to go? What is it that I want to do? All these questions just lead me in a circle absent of direction. What is the point in the center of this forsaken circle of mine? To be true to myself is the reasoning beyond this all. I pray with all my heart that this truth is a worthy cause to put such at stake. So to stay true to myself is to.... Thus, the Prodigal Daughter.